Posted by: Jack Hope | Thursday April 19, 2012

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends #depression #mentallillness

Kitchen Status: Total Disaster

Every once in a while, it seems that things can change for the better.  A few friends can reach out and bring a ray of sunshine to a world that is crashing down upon me.

A positive comment here, a twitter message there, a phone call…  My world is still collapsing but I feel a little less alone about it than I did before.  Some new solutions may be at hand.

It’s certainly beats my alternative, rattling around my apartment with old science fiction shows to keep me company (note to self, do NOT watch old episodes of Space 1999 when struggling with mental illness) and only my thoughts to torment me.

I’m tired and worn out and facing some unpleasant choices.  It’s good to know I’m not completely alone though.

I’m not sure what’s going to happen next, but I am starting to feel a little bit of hope again.

In the end, Hope is all I have ever had.

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Responses

  1. Hello Jack,

    It’s really good to hear you being a little more optimistic. And, yes, to reassure you that I, and your other social network friends care for you and enjoy reading your posts. You come across to me as a thoughtful and caring guy, and it’s been a pleasure to meet you – albeit in a virtual world. And I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch for a few days (busy) – but I’ve been reading the posts and thinking about you.

    Do you mean that these online friendships *are* the “new solutions”, or have you also identified something else? Be interested to hear what if so.

    I’m quite moved by your increasing openess in the blogs. I know it’s very hard, but I think it will help eventually to bring these difficult feelings to the surface – and hopefully they’ll then start to dissipate bit by bit.

    Writing things down is certainly helpful, but I’m wondering if there is also anyone you can talk these thoughts and feelings through with face-to-face, in a “supportive environment” as they say? Have you considered a talking therapy like counselling for example? I went to a number of group therapy sessions when I had my last severe depression, and found it helped greatly. The others in the group gave me fresh perspectives on issues and how I felt about them, which eventually led to finding new ways to deal with them.

    I’m actually somewhat pleased if your kitchen is a “total disaster”. I don’t mean that to be hurtful as I know a clean kitchen is important to you (as it is to me indeed). But maybe it’s currently that way because you’re working on cleaning and tidying your thoughts and feelings rather than the dishes at the moment?

    Personally I find watching TV helpful when I’m depressed (Frasier is a favourite). It can help me to stop ruminating. But the key is to find anything that takes you out of yourself that works for you and helps relieve the pain – if only for a few moments. Going for a walk, taking a bath, blogging, tweeting, etc.

    Off to make the evening coffee now.

    Take care, and I hope *your* sense of hope continues to build.

    Phil

  2. Hi Phil, thanks for always taking the time to comment (in depth) I really appreciate your thoughts. I would say that some of the online support that I am getting is definitely a big part of it. As well, I think the writing is helping me.

    A lot of this stuff, its poison inside of me. I need to get it out. My brain is like a computer that’s crashing from all of this stuff inside of me and I think blogging is turning into an effective way to get it out of me.

    Time will tell, but I seem to already have a small but dedicated cadre of followers which is absolutely marvelous and I’m looking forward to what comes about because of all of this.

    Hope you’re well on your side of the planet!

  3. Jack,

    Thanks so much for taking time to read my blog. I feel blessed that you came over to see it, because coming back to read you blog, I feel like we’re kind of in the same place. It’s so hard to explain to others how you think, and I can only hear them say “you’re so smart and so special…what do you have to be depressed about?” Believe US, it’s not our choice! I’d take a broken limb over this ANY DAY of the week. Look forward to reading more and hopefully see you and I get to a point where we can help others who this becomes new to. I remember how terrified I was when I had my first breakdown; the people who have gone through it are so important to reach out to and talk to. I unfortunately have to take meds, but that’s the only credence I give to my therapists….I’d prefer to talk to my peers.

    Cheers, and hope you have an up weekend,

    Kevin


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