Posted by: Jack Hope | Wednesday April 17, 2013

Carry On

So only six days before I’m about to run my first actual event run some deranged lunatic decides to attack the Boston Marathon.

I really don’t know what to make of the world sometimes.

What on Earth was the point of this? How could any cause be served by this random violence and the death of children, the maiming of innocents.

It boggles the mind.

And it rattles my mind too. I’m ashamed to admit it but this has definitely ramped up my own anxiety about this run, taking it from modest to moderately severe.

I know that the statistical odds are overwhelmingly against anything like this happening in Vancouver. As terrible and gruesome as they are, they are a rare way to die, something on the order of winning the lottery and getting strike by lightning.

But that’s now anxiety works. Anxiety doesn’t listen to numbers and sweet reason. It sees horrifying pictures on the television and immediately says: that will be YOU!

Come too far to stop now though.

And I’m not going to let my life be dictated to by fears of what some evil person with high school chemistry skills and a mimeographed manifesto may do.

Anxiety  can be your very own built-in emotional terrorist: it only wins if you let it.

I don’t think words are adequate to convey the emotion at times like this. There’s no sentiment that can relieve the pain and suffering caused by a tragedy like this.

As with many other Sun Runners, the victims, their friends, family and the City of Boston, will be in my thoughts today and this coming Sunday when I will take to the streets for my very first running event.

And like so many other Sun Runners, I’m dedicating this one to Boston and to carrying on.

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Responses

  1. I feel deeply for those involved in the Boston Marathon too Jack. I had the unfortunate experience of being in a waiting room with a very loud large TV on a news channel shortly after the explosions. I remembered quickly why I don’t watch the news–it’s the imagery and the sensationalism that I find so disturbing and then so hard to get out of my head. I focused on staying in my body and breathing to a count of 5. Oh and plugging my ears and staring at a word on my iPad too (regular meditation and breathing exercises do come in handy!) I did okay; I am stronger than I think. Last night in my nightly bout of depressive thoughts I actually thought “How do I fit in a world like this?” It is inspiration to read that though your anxiety has increased, you are going to run anyway. I wish you much love, good weather, strength and speed on your first running event. Trish.

  2. I love and identify with this quote “Anxiety can be your very own built-in emotional terrorist: it only wins if you let it.” We can paralyze ourselves if we let our irrational fears get in the way. The NJ Marathon is going to be finishing about a mile from my house and after Boston, I was thinking of not leaving the house that day at all. I hope you get through your anxiety and accomplish your Sun Run goal without any negativity anywhere near you, whether internal or external.. 🙂


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